–How many times have you wished you could be more resilient when faced with a personal challenge, crisis, or accident?
Are you the type of person who harbors residual negative feelings and emotions well after such events have passed?
Your time, energy, health, emotional capital, and day to day successes are highly impacted by your capacity to let go of adversity. In fact, if you do not let go, the residual emotional toxicity you retain will contaminate your life. The good news is letting go is something you control.
Resilience: the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
In my bestselling book, Zero Adversity: 3 Practical Steps to Freedom, Fulfillment, and Creating an Authentic Life, I outline nine different concepts you can apply to strengthen your ability to let go of unfortunate, misfortunate and challenging events and circumstances.
When faced with such events, I have trained myself to respond with the following move because it immediately sets the stage for my recovery.
Focus on What You Can Control
When faced with a challenge or crisis, the natural tendency is to invest time, energy, and emotional capital into aspects of the event which are beyond your control—other people’s thoughts, words, and actions, how and why it happened, etc.
Unfortunately, this path leads to a dead end. You know you are on it when you experience frustration, anger, and feelings of hopelessness.
Your path to greater resilience lies in your ability to assess what you cannot control as soon as possible, and then shift focus and resources towards what you can control—your thoughts, words, and actions. A move you can sharpen with practice.
Remember this quote when you think about resilience, it’s not what happens, but how you respond to what happens that determines the degree of your resilience. This statement takes on it’s the greatest meaning when what’s happening is happening directly to you.
As we were remodeling the house from top to bottom and adding a few hundred square feet, I anticipated things would not always go as planned. Each time there was an issue (and there were many), instead of responding with an emotional outburst and placing blame, I boosted my resilience by asking one simple question, what must happen to solve this issue and move forward?
Whatever was required to expedite the solution– going to the hardware store or paint retailer, making a call, ordering a part, or getting the contractor to address the problem–I handled the issue, let it go, and moved on without residual emotional baggage.
Regardless of the event, focusing on what you can control immediately begins to fuel your recovery.
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